Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Guilt and Motivation

It's been a while. A long while. But, in fairness, I have never professed to be this wonderful blogger that brings you enlightening posts on a regular basis, despite the fact that  that is sort of the purpose of a blog. Alas, every time I sit down to do a blog post I feel guilty.

Guilty because I'm still just about half way done with a manuscript I wanted to have finished months ago.
Guilty because, if I'm struggling with my story, I should be reading or researching, not blogging.
Guilty because some days--too many days--I have a severe case of What-the-hell-am-I-doing-osis*.

In short, whenever I turn to blog it feels like I'm cheating on my book. My book and I, our relationship is one of those ones that is awesome, but--my goodness--it takes a lot of work. Constantly. I can see the final product in my mind. I can feel it. But, I still have to create it and I need to focus on it so that it can come to life. And when I try to blog, I feel like I'm removing my focus from where it needs to be.

I'm trying. Really I am. Most days.

Yes, somedays I can't really be arsed to lift my head from the pillow. We all have those days. And on those days the work that I churn out probably isn't that great. It's stuff I very well may delete completely, but I push through it. I have to. Because there's this life, this novel, that I can see. That I'm responsible for creating. I push through it because I know there are revisions. Revisions that can take something dead and unusable and make it one of those shiny passages that make readers pause for breath. It can take the scene that didn't work, one that seemed out of place, and make it crucial.

And, let's face it, revisions is what I'm damn good at. It's what I did--what I was paid to do for a living--up until I set it to the side a while ago.

So, if you're struggling with that first draft... I'm with you.
If you get pissed off because you changed something halfway through and are wondering how you're going to edit the first half to suit the changes... I'm with you.
If you characters sometimes seem to change and you're like WHAT THE HELL!... I'm with you.
If the days seem long in the morning but by the evening you feel like a failure and are wondering where the day has gone... I'm RIGHT THERE with you!

But, guess what...
Your plot is getting better.
Your characters are becoming more defined.
The little work that you do is better than no work at all.
Keep at it! Push through it! And in the end, it will be GLORIOUS!

So, what is your biggest writing hold up? What gets you down? But then, what gets you back up? What helps you get through it? How do you get over these humps? Let me know in the comments!

*A real disease

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